just shows that having an online journal makes you random. i cannot for the life of me remember that i posted something pitiful this february. hahaha! and if you aren't slow, you know i'm talking about the 14th. prompts. i remember why but i don't want to detail explicitly. just shows how very dualistic of me. wants to share, don't want to share. so you prompt, you tease. a few years later, would i still remember why? i think this defeats the purpose of blogging, but oh well.

this blogging thing is hard. words just doesn't seem to flow as easily as they used to. thinking back on the days where i used to write almost everyday, blogging or imagining stories in my head and putting it down in words - i honestly cannot fathom how i was able to do that.

one thing i realized, which i think rings true - i'm busy living life that i don't have time to live and dwell in my imaginary worlds anymore.

but how i wish i still could.

sad blues.

pain pricking like needles.

barely breathing.

unexplainable, unsurmountable.

thin line between independence and lonesome.

hurts.

screaming with no sound.

i want to post a journal entry and as customary, i'm choosing an avatar that suits my mood today. and i saw this - poke with love. hahaha. stupid, funny, ironic avatar. this sums up all i want to write today.

anyway. moping on a vday's. how original. bleh.

random bursts of thought:

- girls are emotional. that's a given. but i really should practice reeling some of my emotions in. especially when it's way out of control. hay.

- lots of old issues creeping back in. and these topics - i really don't want to discuss anymore. i'm really way over it.

- reflecting back on it. was i really being judgemental? have i not put myself in the person's shoes long enough to let me get an honest insight on how they must feel, think?

- i say i'm over it, but i'm still pondering about it. duh. me weirdo.

- i really am a sad procastinator. hahaha! i really should kick this habit in the bucket. but it's so hard.

- i want to play PS! i don't care if it's ps2 or ps3. as long as i get to play RPG games again. hahaha. now that i think about it, this is the reason why i'm such a homebody before. the thing i always look forward to on weekends was that i get the chance to finish the game! like malls? what malls? =))

- suikoden. how i missed playing you. hahaha. tsk. sad. i don't think they made any more sequels. haven't heard anything about it being in ps3.

- i have written 3 entries in 2 days. this is what boredom does to you.

- nowadays, i only watch tv when the program that's on is a cooking reality tv show. hahaha! what does that tell you about me? :P

- twitter is addicting. not that i tweet much. i just follow. very amusing.

- i miss my obi. don't find shopping as enjoyable as i did when she was here. or as productive. her brutally honest opinions on the clothes i try on - insane. hahaha. i'm always either amused or pissed.

- i really should make time to date nanay. it's been a long while since i dragged her to a movie. if i'm not mistaken, the last one we watched together was 'here comes the bride'

- i have a love/hate relationship with the rain. i love rain when i'm at home and asleep. i hate rain when i'm out and i have gala. tsk.

- will the boss let me?

- i saw a video of an english bulldog cuddling with a sleeping toddler. it was so cute!!! the urge to have another dog increased exponentially. if i were in a pet shop, i would have compulsively bought for sure.

- thinking back on it, my dream dog would still be the siberian husky. hahaha. and i'm adding fickle minded to the list of 'girl' thing as well. hahaha.

- got to go. i've got a shuttle to catch.

i have many things to do today. i have to do some testing. i have to do some issue investigation. i think they need an update of what i finished on both assignments by the end of today and i don't think i will be ready to provide that update. :))

it IS friday today so that may explain why i'm feeling very lazy. well, i AM lazy. but i think the problem i have here is that i lack the motivation. haha. yeah. i don't have any motivation to do these tasks. because it's not what i want to do. it will be remedied very soon as i have resigned from my current post and will be going to another project - which i have been wanting for a very long time.

i have met some of the people whom i will be working with very soon and they all seem like good and fun people. too bad that kevin, a gay jolly guy who i think would be so much fun to be around with, is under the support team. if he was part of the implem team.. ha! sabog. :))

anyway! thoughts on non-work related stuff. hmmm. i want to hibernate saturday.
have good, long, bad-ass sleep. like 12 hours sleep! hahaha. tsk. 5 to 6 hours is not enough for me. like really.

speaking of sleep - dreams. i've been dreaming a lot of animals lately. yeah i know! animals! first there was the gorilla dream (he/she was walking amongst us like it's normal). then there was this baby elephant dream (he/she was cute! i was thinking that i have to have him/her as my pet). then there was this dog and cat dream (they were fighting and i think the cat was winning, errr) and there were 2 more animal dreams which i forgot what they were. hahaha.

i don't have anything to do saturday. so i think i can have that long sleep i've been wanting for the week. hahaha! too bad - the sofitel buffet thingie did not push through. karen has sore throat! she won't be able to enjoy the food and i understand that. so postponed! i don't think val have any other back up plans on what to do, so i think it's lazy saturday or family saturday. ;)

will watch transformers 3 again on sunday. yeeeey! i do love me some shia la beouf! and of course i just adore optimus prime and bumblebee. i just think the movie lacks more robot action scenes! hahaha. optimus' and bumblebee's screen time was not enough! for me, okay?

i knew that the film critics' main beef with the movie is that it lacks the - ahm, watchu call it? people-emotion something. whatever it is. =)) but whatever. this is a robot movie after all. hahaha.

just a random thought: being nice is overrated.

another random thought: IMY. truly.

why hello there journal! welcome me back! hahaha!

i've forgotten that i had an account here let alone that i blogged so many things before. while reading the previous entries, i realized what a good practice that was. it let me reminisce the old times - all of it! the good, the bad, the fun times, the non-sense, my thoughts. ha! yah. like run of the mill thoughts. no censors no nothing. like what i'm doing right now! ;)

i think i would start writing to you again journal. well, i am starting right now. hahaha! anyway, can i back track events? hahaha. a LOT has happened and it's such a waste that i haven't documented any of it. i bet it would have been a good read for me, had i written everything i pondered of these last few months.

a special shoutout to my bf (barubal friend) fhatz! hahaha. if she hadn't mentioned blogs, i wouldn't have remembered this. so, yeah bf! thanks to you. hahaha! mag-abang ka! magbablog na tlga ako! hahaha. :))

had a reunion with the college barkada - neil, jet, katzky, angel and jet - last saturday. long overdue!! i last saw them two years ago at our graduation.

we went to ms kat's abode. she was expecting us to visit her home since they had it blessed.. but because of our schedules, we haven't had the time. her mom cooked for us!! well... that's what she wanted us to believe - that we're her special friends and made her mom cook just for us - but really, it a reunion of sorts as well for her mom and relatives (she just got back from canada). but oh well, the food was super delicious! her mom's cooking rocks!! ^_^

met with angel and neil at around 10am at munoz. and for once i arrived last. hahaha!! i always seems to arrive first and wait for others, but yeeey! then we went to mark's house at bulacan. his house is close to where kat's house is, and she isn't home at that time yet - around 12. kat had to buy plane tickets to bora with her mom and instructed us to just drop in at around 2pm. we hang out and ate at mark's. and yeah... the food here is super delicious as well... since mark is a chef and all! yes. a chef. hahaha. his kitchen stories are so cool!! they were like cooking with stuff that only you can see at iron chef. hahaha. enjoyed it really.

then after all the kwentuhan and kamustahan we headed out for kat's house. we had to take a jeep and then a tricycle. well... haha! we didn't need a tricycle, we could have just walked... but er... we'll be lost. ^_^ anyway, the tricycle fare was a rip off since really, it just a short short distance!!

jet met us at kat's house. his house is so much closer there so he went directly. and as i remembered kat was her usual bubbly self and outshone the rest of the guys in the kwentuhan. ^_^ i was laughing mad at her anecdotes.

we had the dinner after the kwentuhan... afterwhich we took lots of pictures and took off. we decided to let the family have their time. ^_^

it was such a nice day!! ^_^

my weekend should have been fully booked.

this saturday, should have been the grand reunion of my HS barkada - gerina, barbie, celeste, nina and joyna. it didn't push through as nina had some emergency drafting/sketching she needs to do for her work - stat! so that went down the drain. we had been planning this for a over month and because of some evil force out there, it didn't happen.

i wanna see them so badly. it had been ages since i last saw them. i was still in college the last time we met. we have a lot of catching up to do. well, i hope sometime soon this reunion happens.

and then tomorrow, sunday... the office clique should be going on a field trip to tagaytay!! and yeah, we had planning about this since the beginning of the year... and because of yet another evil force at work, something prevented our van and driver provider to be unavailable for tomorrow. T.T

since a lot of the gals were so excited by the tagaytay trip, the lot of us opted to go to star city today... but since we're talking of bad luck here... the sun decided to play hooky. it looked like it was going to rain, and hey... it wouldn't be fun at star city if it was raining... so we had that plan cancelled as well.

therefore, i'm stuck at home. i wanna say stuck at home miserable but, i really am not. hahaha! i've been watching house and there's a coupla movies i wanna watch. ^_^ and besides, nothing beats the good news of my being promoted and a little increase!! yippee!!

yesterday, me and val participated in a badminton tournament. it was an all girls event as a salute to the international women's day celebration. on our way to the yonex courts, we managed to get lost. i thought val knew where we were supposed to go, but... she was directionally challenged (much like someone i know!! hahaha). so we managed to get scolded by mmda 2 times because of jay walking - thankfully they didn't reprimand us or something. the other one was shaking his head in disbelief that we jay walked while the other one was cool about it. he was even helpful when we asked for directions.

anyway, val's landmark was puregold. unfortunately... there were two puregolds - one was going to the north and one was going to the south. she can't remember which one was which. so we had to call up our friend sheila who was already at the courts to ask for directions. we finally got it right and made our way with haste as we were about to be late.

we made it in time and registered for the event. we got free shirts - which was colored purple and white. it was so cool!

anyway, we had so much fun! we even managed to win the first round of the tournament. Hehehe. our opponents were sheila and mae, which are good friends of ours, so it was really more of a friendly competition. the game lasted three seta. we lost the first set but proceeded to win the next two. so there! ^_^

after the game we went to puregold to buy some water and snacks as our next game would be in 1 hour. after stuffing ourselves full, we took some pictures and well, we took some pictures! hahaha. the second round of the tournament, was well less fun than the first round since it was a mismatch in my opinion. me and val were massacred!!! combine our scores from the first and second sets would not even amount to ten. that's how good our opponents are. the shuttle cock just went zooming past our heads!! whoooo! i wanna be like that in the near future too!! so i guess lots of practice for me. ^_^

after the second round of the tournament, we still have a third and last match. we opted to skip that one since we also registered for the tarot reading classes at 1pm. if we didn't make it to the class our salary will be deducted 2K+ for the fee for the class.

the tarot reading class was so enjoyable! our facilitator, rosanne araneta, is such a cool girl. she knows her stuff, she's very funny and her anecdotes are hilarious. reading the tarot cards are easy. they have specific meaning in them... you just need to memorize it and everything. what's difficult is the story you need to come up with in conjunction with the meaning of the cards. and you need lots of intuition on this one to be able to come up with enlightenment or something.

i don't think i can read cards for other people, i just don't have the natural flair to make stories about other people. hahaha. val, though had so much fun because she has the flair. she can make stories up. and she's good. maybe she can make a living out of it. hahaha. just kidding. anyway, kimmy also has troubles like me and she said she'll just have to resort to having her cards read at quiapo. ^_^